Dead At 62

My Mom lost her favorite cousin at noon on Wednesday to brain cancer. He was 62. He was a mechanic for an airline with a complete awe and joy for life. I didn't know him well but I do remember he would send my Mom a video greeting every morning. "Good Morning Michigan!" and the little joke or inspiration of the day would commence. He and Mom were talking this time last year about starting a vegetarian restaurant together when he retired.

His son died three weeks later of some kind of cancer. Gary was abandoned by his mother (she was dying of bowel cancer at 38 and wanted to enjoy her last time on earth) and Gary's wife left him with their two kids. I'm not making this up.

I guess when people ask me, "Why did you create The Remembering Site?" it's for all of us who will someday very finally take our last breath. Some will live into their 90s but the fact is that most of us will leave this earth in our 70s and 80s and some, like Gary, will be stopped just as his grandchildren are starting school. Or, like my father who died at 55, never saw his grandchildren.

I suppose it's the cruel finality of death that caused me to create The Remembering Site. When death comes, our coffee pots will still be plugged in, the phone will still ring, your bed will be made or unmade, the vacation will have been planned or once again postponed, and you will either have taken the time to write about your life to share with loved ones or you won't.

My Dad and I were so busy living that I never stopped to take the time to ask all the questions that I should have, and I have a million for him. And now the details are gone forever. I'll never know his thoughts on so many issues. And my memory has faded on all the stories that he DID tell me about his grandfather being best friends with Harvey Firestone, Thomas Edison, and Henry Ford. And where or where is that photo of them walking arm in arm down a cobblestone road?

And, Dad, just what WAS a binding post for which my great grandfather received a patent? And who has all the other patents that Grandpa McCue was given in the early 1900s? And tell me once again about the beautiful relationship he, Dr. Crystal C. McCue, had with his beloved nurse of a wife, Joanna? Or am I confusing the names? Was it Crystal and Joanna or Crystal and Phoebe? Did the village folk REALLY build them a house big enough for seven children so that they wouldn't lose their only doctor? Tell me again what your chores were growing up.

I remember Grandma McCue telling me something about being a member of the Order of the Eastern Star. What did she tell you about it? I remember when I was 18, we had a long long talk about your life growing up. You told me so many things. But that was 20 years ago, and the details are fuzzy. I can hear your voice, I can see your curly hair and happy face but ... I just can't remember.

Oh to have you back for just one day to help me remember.

Write your life story at www.TheRememberingSite.org. What are you waiting for?

Dr. Sarah McCue
April 1, 2006